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I think of you in colors that don't exist
Letter 69

I’m so fucking drunk and the only words that keep spilling out of my mouth are I LOVE YOU over and over until I start to cry. But I hate you. I’m used… Misused. Mistreated. If there is a God why is He letting all of these terrible things happen to me… I pray, every day of my life. Make something good happen, I’ll do anything.

I. I was the first person to teach you that love was not always a white light to a ship lost at sea.

II. On my worst days, the sky was a festering wound that wouldn’t heal. I didn’t want to be that to you.

III. On my worst days, you were the only word I could say without clenching my fists.

IV. I really did love you, I just couldn’t claw my way out of the ground to do it properly.

V. None of this was your fault.

VI. I’m sorry I was your lighthouse. I’m sorry you couldn’t see the wall of rocks on my shore.
I loved you
harder than I hated
myself,
and that’s how
I knew I was
in trouble.

— Y.Z (via aizuko)

Letter 68

No matter how much I want you back, I can’t help but think that you’re just some selfish prick. You can go out and have fun while knowing you broke my heart and left me in pieces. I love you so much it’s killing me, please come back to me. Please care. I wish you were dead.


Anonymous asked: Name?

Lolita haha